I have got to be better than this.
I can’t completely lose my dignity too. I’ve already lost so much. I know that everyone has their strengths and weaknesses but lately all I’ve felt are my weaknesses. Last night was nice but it was so hard to say goodbye. I hate how quickly I can be taken out of your life. Feels like I was never there at all.
Need sleep and a good cry
Sometimes you just have to let go. I need to change. I can change. I need to stop being so FUCKING serious. But, it’s hard. I can be fun. It just comes in short bouts of lucidity. I want so badly for things to work out but I need a reason, a sign, an inkling that this is really the right thing for me/us/the world. We shall see… Oh, and another thing I am tired of choking back...
You say I choose sadness, that it never once has chosen me.– The Good That Won’t Come Out of Me - Rilo Kiley
Songs to help get me through
A Better Son/Daughter -Rilo Kiley Don’t Pass Me By -The Beatles The Only Exception -Paramore Martha, My Dear -The Beatles Sitting, Waiting, Wishing -Jack Johnson Mr. Pitiful -Matt Costa
MAX: We can’t keep getting this close just to have something completely derail us again. And frankly there’s only one thing I can think of that could solve it.
LORELAI: Break up.
LORELAI: Well, I’m not interested in a murder-suicide kind of thing. .
MAX: We should get married.
LORELAI: Give me a clue as to whether you’re kidding or not.
MAX: I am not kidding.
LORELAI: Good clue.
MAX: What do you say?
LORELAI: Nothing. Max, you did not just propose to me.
MAX: Yes I did.
LORELAI: No. A proposal had to be something more than the desperate desire to end a bickering match.
MAX: It was more than that.
LORELAI: No, it has to be planned. It should be magical. There should be music playing and romantic lighting and a subtle buildup to the popping of the big question. There should be a thousand yellow daisies and candles and a horse and I don’t know what the horse is doing there unless you’re riding it, which seems a little over the top, but it should be more than this.
MAX: You’re right.
LORELAI: I am right.
MAX: I’m sorry.
LORELAI: It’s okay.
I listen for your footsteps Coming up the drive Listen for your footsteps But...– Don’t pass me by - The Beatles
I can't even handle right now.
I am in such a bad mood.
Isn't it already too late by then?
txtsfrmlstnght: (774): mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me.
She’s got you high and you don’t even know yet.– Mumm-Ra
Flower Drum Song
Today was one of the few times in college I actually felt inspired. I think I’m going to like this class. I think I’m going to like Asian-Pacific Art, Music, and Literature. Go figure!
Yes, I'm whining...again.
Man, I really hate it when people say “God’s last name is not Dammit.”
I love being offered whiskey (esp. Wild Turkey) before 11:00 am. Makes me feel dangerous.
I heart facebook chatting with the BF before bed. Always makes me smile.
If you like Pina Coladas...
I’ve been so upset these past few weeks I haven’t even been blogging. And blogging is such good therapy for me too. Speaking of therapy…I went back today after missing a few weeks. I still felt shitty when I got out of there though. Normally, I feel peachy but today there was really nothing to resolve so I felt almost the same. She suggested I try and relax during this time off...
that you should really come back already. Yeah, I know it’s only Wednesday but I sorta, kinda, really miss you. I need a hug.
Ordered some new glasses today -regular and sun. Yes!
I have a lot to say but every time I start to open tumblr I choke up. I’m not sure why. I have a lot of emotions to express. But, maybe I’ve already expressed too many. And, now I’m just tired. Excerpt: I’m hoping you’ll forget about the things I said but didn’t mean. And, as far as some of the things I did mean…well, I really don’t know what to...
JASON SEGEL!!! →
Despair, Inc. ~ Awesome! →
Negative people call themselves "realists."
butthetruthis: But the truth is… The only thing they’re being “real” about…is being real negative. Photo by: http://www.flickr.com/photos/discopalace/446217012/
Sometimes things work out better than you could...
Long. You've been warned.
BF Nice long weekend with the boyfriend. Longer than planned but enjoyable none the less. Oh yeah, but on that trip he decided to read my blog. Cause I’m always talking about it. He wasn’t too pleased with everything I’ve posted, too personal basically. I can understand but it is my blog and I have the prerogative to post what I like. SCHOOL Skipped my first day of school and...
Tell them I said hi. It’s weird how you can miss someone you never thought...– Mama after I told her I planned on visiting my dad’s parents for the first time since my grandfather was buried in 1999